Never Have I Ever

Never have I ever cut hair.

Wait. Sorry. I take that back. Never have I ever cut hair well. I'm sure my mom could tell you about the time I felt ambitious. Cutting hair? No big deal, right? Wrong. Mom let me practice on my little brother, Ian, because if worse came to worse he could just get a buzz. Let's just say that worse came to worse. I cut his hair alright. And Ian got a buzz. His hair was unfixable.

But that was at least four years ago. Let's move ahead to the present – Saturday night. Janessa and I were bored. So bored in fact that we borrowed hair cutting scissors. Janessa wanted to try cutting her hair and I said I was more than willing to help. Surely four years changes my hair cutting abilities, or lack there of. Then again, maybe it doesn't.

Janessa cut the front of her hair and it didn't look bad. In fact it looked great. She got the side swept bangs looking perfect and I was impressed. And that impressed feeling turned to me feeling like I could do it too! And so came time for the back of her hair to be cut. She turned to me and placed the scissors in my hands. Ah! The power.

Layers. That's what she wanted. Layers? Oh! I can do layers! Not hard at all, right? Pull the hair out, snip, snip, layer one – done! And after I was done hacking away, her hair definitely had layers.

For those who want a picture painted in your mind of what her hair looked like, imagine rice fields in China. Or a staircase. Or strip mining. Either of the images would give you a good idea of what the back of her head looked like.

Whoops.

And so I found out, yet again, hair cutting may not be the profession for me. Unless of course people want the strip mining look, cause I can do that pretty well.

For those of you wanting a good ending to this story. There is one. After much laughing, we went down the hall to Katie. Katie cuts hair. She has all the supplies. She's done it for years. And she's good at it. She fixed Janessa's hair, after looking at it in shock, and Janessa now has a very cute hair cut.

As for me, I'm laying down the scissors for now, and will instead admire the people who cut hair. Because it is not an easy job, no matter how easy it may look.

Also, a few words of advice, if you are bored, I'd recommend not cutting someone's hair unless a good hair cutter is nearby to fix what you have done. It's just a good idea, cause you never know if you'll end up with the staircase look.