Pain and Hope

"Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain."- Ecclesiastes 1:18

This verse has become more relevant the longer I've been in school. Learning is painful. Yes, studying can be mentally draining, the late hours physically exhausting, but becoming more informed of the world around me, that increases pain and grief.

Studying has opened my eyes to the brokenness of this world. Lately, I've been doing quite a bit of research on abused children and how as a future teacher I can help children who are or have been abused. Let me tell you, reading multiple articles on this topic and spending hours researching it is painful. When the writer of Ecclesiastes says that in much wisdom there is much grief, he wasn't just making up a lighthearted comment to throw around, he knew what he was talking about.

Increased knowledge and wisdom increases pain and grief. I have felt pain and cried as I sat reading article after article on children suffering undeserved abuse. I've felt pain and grief as my eyes are opened and I begin seeing what a sinful and hurting world we live in. But with the pain and grief also comes an amplified knowledge of what it means for Christ to be the Redeemer of the world.

Jesus Christ was the one who bore all the sin of the world, all that sin that I am reading about, He took it upon Himself in order to purify and bring to Himself His children. And that gives me hope. The fact that God is a God who forgives, loves, heals the broken, and act justly, gives me hope. And the fact that I am redeemed by Jesus' blood and can tell others of the hope and peace that is in Christ – that is exciting!

As I go back to reading and studying more of the brokenness around me, I'm reminded that one day Christ will return and, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4). Christ is our Redeemer and there is so much hope and joy in that. I just pray that God continues to open my eyes to the pain and suffering around me and that in opening my eyes He gives me a heart of compassion to lead the suffering to true rest in Him. 

Hypocrisy-less Love

“Let love be without hypocrisy…” (Romans 12:9a)

It’s a short verse. In fact it’s only part of a verse, but God’s Word is powerful, and awfully convicting.

I read this verse earlier this summer and have been thinking about it a lot since then. It has been convicting me of the way I love others.

When I hear the word hypocrisy I think of Jesus confronting the Pharisees in Matthew 23:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

How often is my love for others full of hypocrisy? How often does it appear beautiful and genuine, but in reality is disgusting and smothered in self-promotion and pride? How often is my love fake?

To let my love be without hypocrisy, that has been my prayer! To love like Jesus loved. He ate with the despised people in the communities (Matthew 9:10) not to get something from it and gain public approval (which didn't happen), but because He genuinely cared for the lost. He loved purely. He loved without hypocrisy.

It’s interesting that this verse is the first of twenty-seven commands from Paul on how to treat believers in the Body. He begins with true, pure love.

I’m no where close to that. I’m still finding that my love is tainted with hypocrisy. I’m finding that selfishness and pride are intertwined with love. But there is One who does love purely. There is One who has redeemed me and is sanctifying me day by day. And it is in Him, the one true God, that I am seeking to help me love without hypocrisy.

To love brothers and sisters in Christ, to love friends and family, to love without hypocrisy, that is my prayer.

Thoughts on a Foggy, Rainy Day.

*written yesterday, posted today*

Fog is covering Covenant College's campus right now, wrapping us up in a giant blanket of grey fluffiness. The fog isn't alone, it's come with chilling temperatures and rain. Ah, the slow changing of seasons, going from cool to cold.

I'm done with my homework (for now) and am sitting on the Chapel Department's couch. The heater is on warming up the chilly room. My cup, which did have tea in it, is now sitting next to me, empty. And I am sitting here with thoughts floating around in my head waiting to be typed out into a blog post.

So, here it goes–thoughts from the Traveling Banana on a foggy Wednesday afternoon.

The first thought, is actually a quote. On Monday, we had some people from Wycliffe share in my English Syntax class. They shared about the importance of language and syntax and talked about translating the Bible. While talking they shared this quote with us:

"There is no such thing as a word in one language that has a perfect equivalent in another language."

Ah! So true. I remember trying to communicate things in Portuguese to my friend in Mozambique and thinking, "There just isn't a word that communicates the same thing as (for example) lickity split." So, yes, that quote, I thought, was true.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is thankfulness. Thanksgiving is coming up this month and as I've been thinking about that I've realized just how much I have to be thankful for. So for the rest of this post I'll highlight a few things that I've been thankful for in just this month (yes, I know, this month just started :) ).

• My job. I honestly have no idea how I got blessed with such an amazing job except that God gave it to me! I was signed up to be cleaning the library again, and I was excited about it :) Then, a week before school began, I was told I would be working in the Chapel Department. It has been great! I've gotten to learn new things, I've enjoyed working with everyone in the Chapel Department, and I love getting together every Wednesday to pray with everyone who works in the Chapel Department. It's been an encouraging job, and one that fits in perfectly with my hectic class schedule. I'm so thankful to God for it!
  
  
• Textfree. :) It's an app ( there's an app for that ;) ) , and although I don't text much, it is helpful/nice :) Like the other morning when I was up getting ready for the day, Dad and I texted the whole time :) It was a great start to my morning.
  
  
• My family. I love them! I love hearing from them whether it's through text, Facebook, or phone calls :) They're great! I got to talk to Mom and Andrew last night for a few hours... it was great!
  
  
• My advisor. She is amazing! I met with her last week to talk about my schedule for next semester. She has everything planned out for me. It is wonderful, and made my life a whole lot easier when I went to register for classes this morning.
  
  
• Getting to be here at Covenant College. I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be here studying. I love it here. I love learning, I love the professors, I love my friends, and I love all the opportunities there are everyday to talk with fellow believers about Christ! It's wonderful! And I'm SO thankful!

There you have it, my definitely-not-exhaustive list of things I'm thankful for in this month :) There are many more, but it is time to scidaddle off to another class.

Until next time, toodle loo.

Thoughts, Ponderings, & Rambles

It seems like months since I have sat down to write a blog post about what is on my mind, or what God's been showing me through His Word or other things that have been happening in my life. I feel like I've just been writing down the basics of what's been happening on a day to day basis and not writing much else. So, I'm finally taking the time to sit down and write a real blog post. But now, where to begin?

First off, I will have to say, I am thrilled to be back home! Someone once said,

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

And I would have to agree with whomever said that. It is so true, you never realize how much you miss something or someone until you're away from it. Being down in South Africa and away from all of our friends and family here made me realize just how thankful I am for everything God has blessed me with in Nampula! He gave me more siblings, the Woodbulls, a wonderful youth group where I can grow more in my understanding of God, and an amazing body of believers that prayed for us and comforted us the whole time everything was going on with Ian. Not to mention what great friends they all are. God has blessed me so much! And I am SO thankful!!

Being back home we have now kicked school into high gear. Damarise and I are trying to finish up school before we leave here. We shall see if that'll actually happen. Lord willing, it should! :) We still aren't sure where we'll be going to college, but we are praying about it and trusting in the Lord.

We're also busy packing up our house. Seems like we just got unpacked from our trip to South Africa, and now we're at it again. Packing up to leave for good! Wow! Nampula is the longest place we have lived in since 2001. So it will definitely be tough having to say goodbyes and leaving.

Speaking of goodbyes, the other day I was thinking about all the goodbyes I was going to have to say, and how most of them would probably be for good, because I don't know when I'll see most of the people here again. And I was reminded (again) just how awesome God is. He is so indescribable! And so good! As I was thinking about all the goodbyes, I took out my diary to start writing, but instead started fumbling through the pages of it and I came across an entry I had written when we were living in Massachusetts. I was saying how terrible goodbyes are, but how wonderful God is. And how neat it is that God provided me with all Christian friends. He knew I would have to go through goodbyes and how painful they would be, but God, in all His wonderfulness, gave me Christian friends so that even if I didn't think I would ever see them again on this earth, I would see them one day in heaven. And that, well, it just put me in awe of how great our God is!! What a mighty God we serve eh?!

Well, it is getting late, and my eyes are falling asleep on me, so I should probably close. Thanks for reading through all of my rambles and thoughts for now. Hopefully I'll be getting back to blogging more often! :)

Be Still My Soul

Today as I was thinking through a lot of things going on in the world, this song popped into my head. The words were amazing and so true. Dad said he was reading a lot of the Psalms recently and kept finding verses with "Be still" in it. Guess I was needing to hear those words too. Anyways, here's the song and the verse. 

"Be still, and know that I am God;I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." -Psalm 46:10

"Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."